Thank you Jacobin, I really appreciate your letting u/Graphenium and u/Thisisnotanexit draw you out and your being more transparent with them, because it appears my brasher style didn't have the good effect their appeals did.

I empathize with and respect your explanation about your mother and it's very understandable that your experiences would lead you to regard the Christian Bible with doubt. Without belittling that experience at all, I repeat that one of the best cures, and best paths to hope in this time, is to go back to foundations, instead of grappling with the highly specific moral questions that the detailed text also confronts in passing: the details are probably too close to you to handle first. For foundations, you say e.g.:

Even if YHWH is as the gnostics believe then the ultimate god above him still appointed him over the earth and so is equally as uncaring/evil or equally as ignorant.

Good thinking! That's similar to my point about how, even if Jesus didn't exist, the system in which his narrative became popular still has the same characteristics as Jesus himself. So you're rightly looking at the whole tree all the way to the root and doubting that it's the best theodicy (i.e. a defense of good given the existence of evil). There are a few insightful people here who generally have asked the similar question, and when the questioner is patient then good discussion can be engaged!

I can also welcome you into the brotherhood of those who accept a good Creator:

I would agree with you that nature and everything in it only points one way - towards a creator. Nothing else makes any sense to me and I highly doubt it ever will .... I don’t think it can be contained within the bounds of human characteristics

That's all I was trying to get you to say! Again I apologize for not being able to elicit it. Not only that, this good Creator has the foresight to give us good things like mushrooms, and channels to high planes of experience, and this affirms a concept of good. It's my belief that building on the foundation of what this Creator is like will get us to a concept of God that remains transcendent but also helps us live our lives in this strange world.

What I'd linked previously establishes that if the Cosmos contains things like meaning, life, and personality, science shows that these don't arise of themselves but must have been hard-wired at some event like a Big Bang from some containing or transcendent source. Whether we call that an Anthropic Principle or a Multiverse or whatever, it must have meaning, life, and personality because we have them, and these things do not arise out of nothing. Theists don't feel they have to define what that personality is like, as long as they recognize that it informs (or creates) the fact that we have personalities, and so we're not it, it remains transcendent while also being experienced in spacetime (immanent).

TLDR: Working from a common foundation, would you be willing to share ideas about why evils happen, so as to compare notes toward finding the best explanation, without bias toward any particular solution? Because that's why I'm here.

As to your OP concern, now that I understand better, please feel free to ping me about any evangelizing that looks to you like it perpetrates a deceptive conspiracy within Judaism and/or Christianity. I'm all for exposing the deceptive networks, while yet balancing in the sincerity of those who want truth and still have adopted various of those systems; so I'll be happy to question specific Jews, Catholics, Orthodox, or Protestants alongside you.

I have not doubted my allegiance, I'm grateful to have these conversations and I'm grateful to you for going on with me, cheers!

I accept your opinion and disagree with your assessment of things.

Who is better than the Most High God?