So Ive decided to do some risk assessment with my bank to make sure my assets are reasonably safe. I scheduled an appointment with the bank manager thinking that a bank manager might be able to answer my questions.

I show up for the meeting and we go to his office. I notice he has a coffee in hand (card board coffee cup from a new, local coffee shop). I ask him about it and I ask him about another locally owned coffee shop and which one he prefers since they are both close to the bank he manages. He tells me he likes the (one he has in his hand) vs the other one. I ask him why and he says it is because he is a "germaphobe" and the one he likes puts the lids on his coffee for him whereas the other doesnt making him put his own lid on his own coffee. Does this make sense? He is worried about germs and prefers the shop that puts their dirty hands on the thing he is going to put his mouth to?

He is also about 30 years old and has braces on. He is also a round faced dough boy with an effete voice. I knew right then I was wasting my time, but figured Id proceed anyway.

I asked him about FDIC (I know what it is, but wanted to be sure all of my accounts are insured). He managed to answer these questions satisfactorily.

I asked about CBDC. He'd never heard of it.

I asked about ESG. He'd never heard of it.

I asked about bail ins: Nope.

I asked about ZIRP: Nothing.

How does a bank manager not know about these things?

He could probably quote Star Wars movies verbatim though.

This world is run by idiots. Its idiots all the way down. No wonder everything sucks and nothing works. Fucking idiocracy man. Its real and its here.

Im going to run for president of America. (shooting M60 into the ceiling intensifies).