What's weird is that we're constantly hearing about all manner of things that can knock you off in the blink of an eye, from Tylenol to "safe and effective" vaccines to a whiff of fentanyl powder. And here they have to resort to a pillow? Is that supposed to make sense?

I have extraordinary reservations against suicide, but everyone's life is their own. In that case, what's wrong with a few hits of morphine? That's just a matter of how many, and will definitely take you out in a way you won't even notice.

Final bizarre twist: I thought pillows were supposed to muffle the screams of the victim. If they don't, I'll just... uh... note that down.