We're sorry we ran out of fuel and nushed it just enough to hit a major city.

Please accidentally nudge a meteor to hit the next Davos meeting.

shits gonna end up like that movie greenland

This is real. Look up “apophis”. It will strike the earth in April 2029. We will be able to see it about three years before it hits. All the major governments of the world have already hinted about this.

"We've never actually left Earth orbit, so here's another load of horseshit as a narrative so we can launder more money."

Tell Dailymail I fixed their headline for them. They can rest easy, too, cause this one is on the house.