I recommend trying to find some videos of the romanian revolution in 1989. Great times ahead.
I didnt read any of what you wrote, just the title. My understanding of defeatism is that you just are defeated and dont fight back because you have lost all hope. Well your title is insinuating that somehow defeatism means we are going to gain something with so much value (a family, wealth, whatever) that the price of that something is more than its worth it to fight and maybe lose. A correct correlation would be "boo hoo, woe-is-me, i have nothing left anymore im going to fucking go full jihad on the people that took everything away from us."
You can stack up all the shit in the world, but if i have nothing left to lose, than the price to pay is nothing. I have never seen a rich guy act depressed because he has too much to lose.
no revolution has ever failed if it can recruit the active support of at least 3.5% of the population.