TL;DR: We take a close look at some gossip, list the evidence of Lauren’s Witchiness, and then we analyze her previous and present elections.
It seems like there would not be that much to say about this airhead. She looks just like an Instragram influencer and says nothing of importance just like an Instagram influencer. You’re free to love her or to hate her. That’s about it, right? Probably like everyone reading this, I paid virtually no attention to her.
Well, I was wrong. It turns out that—upon close examination—there are some important lessons to be learned from Lauren’s case. The Salem Witches almost always stand just outside the focus of our attention. That alone allows them to get away with an incredible amount of activity.
And that yields our first lesson: Try to have an awareness when you are dismissing something as being of no importantance. Understand that perfectly reasonable assumptions are assumptions, not evidence. Let’s begin with this item of gossip which I tried and failed to analyze correctly:
'Little B****': Boebert, MTG Reportedly Get in Heated Fight on House Floor, Video Captures Exchange (The Western Journal 6/22/2023)
“Okay,” I assumed, “one of them has got to be authentic MAGA and the other is a plant. The real one picked up on the phony to some extent—perhaps female intuition—and they came into conflict. I just have to figure out which is which.”
Well, I was wrong about that too. We shall see shortly that Boebert is a Salem Witch and I wrote up a long post showing that MTG is a Salem Witch also.
There are all types of explanations you can devise to account for that situation, but there is only one that I find worthy of examination: the Salem Witches that we see in public have no special knowledge of each other. They don’t meet each other dressed up in robes at the Global Coven, or see each other’s names on the mailing list, or carpool to parties at the cloning center, or anything like that.
What we saw was two entitled, arrogant witches (in the insulting sense) that got into a fight in the workplace in front of their co-workers because they couldn’t keep their shit locked down. I feel certain that, regrettably, we’ve all seen that a time or two.
What can we learn? A lot, if you think it through fully. Just as one example, this idea that we’ve got to be on the hunt for special handshakes and recognition signals is crude and useless. Any member of “Them” worth taking about is a serious person far beyond such things.
Anyone who knows what I know—and am now telling you—about the actual connection between Lauren and MTG and the others stays far out of our sight. I have not one single time heard the faintest hint at such knowledge from any public figure. No one of any importance is in the audience making the “one up, one down” sign at a baseball game on TV.
The catfight was genuine and the lesson, then, is this: be hesitant to dismiss anything as phony or staged just because it’s convenient for your theory or, alternatively, you have a hard time fitting it into your theory. I’ve pointed out innumerable fake things, but only when there is evidence of fakery. Sometimes the evidence is that it is simply too absurd to believe it actually happened, which is not the case with two chicks arguing at the office.
Here is more gossip, and it’s the story that caused me to look into Boebert in the first place:
Thomas Massie Hits Reporter with a Strange Question After Being Confronted with Allegations of Sexual Affair with Rep. Lauren Boebert (VIDEO) (The Gateway Pundit 6/28/2026)
At that time, I had already done the research to show that Massie is a Salem Witch. I suspected that the “association” between Massie and Boebert was not mere happenstance. They are often maneuvered around like pieces on a gaming board. Introductions are made and connections encouraged, if you get my drift.
The question: Is Lauren Boebert a Salem Witch? Doesn’t seem likely from the unusual name, does it? The first few sentences of her “Early life” section:
Lauren Opal Roberts was born in Altamonte Springs, Florida, on December 19, 1986, to Shawna Roberts Bentz, who was 18 at the time of Boebert's birth. The identity of her father is not known. Professional wrestler Stan Lane was speculated to be Boebert's father but this was disproven by two DNA tests, once in 1990 and again in 2023.
You got it, Roberts is a Salem Witch name, carried in her mother’s bloodline. There’s also all that confusion over her father. Personally, I suspect that the DNA tests were phony and that the man with the much fancier-sounding full name of Wallace Stanfield Lane (b1953) is, in fact, her father. Why? Simply because—you got it—Lane is also a Salem Witch name.
When she was 12, her mother took Lauren to—you got it—Denver, a Stronghold of the Salem Witches. I mean, we’re looking at some pretty slim odds for all this, aren’t we?
Boebert dropped out of high school during her senior year in 2004 when she had a baby. She earned a GED certificate in 2020, a month before her first election primary.
Does that sounds like a “never happens to anyone you know” type of thing? One that somehow “happens with regularity and no one comments on” for Salem Witches?
There’s more. As I’ve noted previously, I hardly pay attention to politics but I do pay attention to anomalies. Finding out what’s behind them—if possible—is an incredible source of insight. This is an anomaly:
Watch: Lauren Boebert Reveals She Got a Call from Trump, Then Torches Kevin McCarthy (The Western Journal 1/4/2023)
I noted it at the time but had zero idea WTF was going on. Now I do, and soon you will too. CongressThot Boebert comes out to cross a man who is probably the most popular politician her party has had in the last several decades to tell him he’s all effed up on this Speaker thing. Really? Why?
If you read the article, her logic is somewhat akin to a cop trying to sweat a confession out of a suspect: “I’m your friend and it’s gonna go bad if you don’t admit to this, so why don’t you do the right thing?” C’mon, has that ever been legitimate?
It boils down to this: Kevin McCarthy is not a Salem Witch but his competition, Byron Donalds, is. Speaker of the House is a powerful position, the most important aspect being the ability to completely derail the legislative agenda of the President. Say, for example, one who it is feared will be coming back to office.
BTW, MTG was on the other side of this. Have you heard of “hedging your bets”? McCarthy finally ended up winning and also got a new BFF. You can read up on it in this article. “I will never leave that woman,” he said. Do you see how far down we are when you know all the details?
Even further aside, that Western Journal article embedded this tweet:
Welp, Spencer Brown is a senior columnist for Townhall.com. Townhall is owned by (get this) Salem Media. Salem Media also hosts The Charlie Kirk Show. I wrote six posts on Charlie. I told you we were far down.
I asserted that Lauren’s choice, Byron Donalds, is also a Salem Witch. Yes, there are black Salem Witches. A lot of generations have passed since 1692. We’re not going to get into Byron right now. It turns out that I’ll have to do a series called “Witches of FL” or something and he’ll be one of them. I should give you a few tidbits as a show of good faith, shouldn’t I?
Byron’s middle name is Lowell and there’s a Lowell, Massachusetts just over 20 miles from Salem. Claude Roy Kirk Jr. was the governor of Florida from 1967 to 1971. He was married to a blonde woman named Erika. There are four photos of Lauren on her Wikipedia page: three of her alone and one next to Ron DeSantis, the current governor of Florida. Do you recall from above where Lauren was born? Florida.
For this last section, I would like to examine with you two of the three elections in which Lauren has run. I know that sounds excruciating but bear with me. No, I don’t like nerding out on elections any more than you do but I stumbled into some items of interest.
You see, I was trying to note down her exact constituency because I think it sounds fancy when I put such things in these posts: Colorado's 3rd congressional district. But then I noticed that wasn’t correct, it was actually Colorado's 4th congressional district. Then I noticed the problem.
Boebert held the 3rd for two sessions, then she ran for and won the 4th. It wasn’t because she moved residences or something, and the districts are adjacent on either side of Denver. If you thought Lauren was just a big ol’ c-word, others did too:
Lauren Boebert blasted as carpetbagger in first debate in new congressional district race (Axios 1/25/2024)
U.S. Rep. Lauren Boebert defended her mountains-to-plains shift in congressional districts, even as Republican rivals used the contest's first debate Thursday night to suggest she is a carpetbagger and hypocrite.
Her move out of her difficult re-election contest in the 3rd District to compete in the deep-red 4th District drew the most attention at the Fort Lupton debate.
The anomaly: fellow Republicans hammer her on the issue, but the mainstream media who detest all Trump supporters (particularly those who have any power) fall silent after this is first reported. What can we learn from this?
First, “They” do not entirely control the media. They can’t prevent all the real reporters from covering all the innumerable real events every day. What They can do, though, is control critical points in the editorial process and short-circuit the propagation of the story. A Cone of Silence descends over it.
Second, every time They take a big “L”, they sweep it under the rug as quickly as possible. This progressively distorts your view of the world and its history. Boebert’s loss here was a big “L”.
The guy that eventually won the 3rd district and replaced her is Jeff Hurd. He is—get this—a fellow Republican! Further, read up on Jeff and I think you’d have a very hard time making the case that he’s a Salem Witch.
Even further than that, the Republican he beat in the primary was Ron Hanks, full name Loren Lowell Hanks. Now we got a white Lowell. C’mon!
We must carefully take note of what all this implies. In an election, a normal (non-Witch) person chased out one Salem Witch and beat another one at the polls. All this “elections are rigged” and “elections don’t count” and “don’t bother voting” stuff is bullshit. “They” tried and “They” lost.
Sure, they use every trick in the book to script the candidates and rig these things, but what they don’t do is wave a magic wand and make it come out the way they want. Alternatively, you could believe that they set up all this shit in CO-3 just so I could tell you about it and pull the wool over the eyes of half a dozen people. Sure, maybe.
We should move on to talk about Lauren’s current district, the 4th, because something strange is going on in the 2026 election, as I write on the eve of Election Day. First, note that Trump has endorsed Boebert in this race, so I conclude he still knows nothing explicitly about the Witches. Unless maybe he’s got some 5D revers-o going on?
The Democrat candidate opposing Boebert is Eileen Laubacher. Thing is, she retired as a Rear Admiral after a long career as some sort of global intel supersailor. Her Wikipedia page is quite impressive. Also, there’s no evidence she’s a Salem Witch. Sounds like she’d be a conservative, right? Well… she was!
On March 2, 2026, Trisha Calvarese [Laubacher’s closest Democrat rival] filed a lawsuit in Denver District Court against a member of the Colorado Democratic Party, alleging the party violated state election law by allowing fellow candidate Eileen Laubacher to participate in the Democratic caucus and assembly process. Calvarese's campaign argued that Laubacher is a "lifelong Republican," noting she registered as a Democrat only in March 2025. The following day, a judge denied a request for a temporary restraining order that would have blocked Laubacher's participation.
Maybe Trump really is in on this gag. He can’t be seen to endorse a Democrat, and maybe the Democrats won’t squawk any louder about all this for fear of Streisanding it. Also, a favorable ruling from a judge in Denver?
Hard to believe this is all going on but there you have it. It destroys the myth that TPTB are The All-Powerful Powers That Be. As far as I’m concerned, Black-Pillers can be immediately dismissed as disinfo agents or their deeply ignorant dupes.
Some strange revelations, were they not? And all beginning with someone who seems to have as much substance as a blow-up doll. You never know until you check for yourself.
Thanks for reading, and have a great Election Day!