It's not that I need a hallowed name, but I need more than just you telling me this,

Clearly! But i don't think you should. I'm sharing my perspective - so the best source to learn about it is me "telling you this".

especially since what you're telling me doesn't make sense when applied in real life scenarios.

Of course it does! If it didn't make sense, so many physicists probably wouldn't have had this view for quite so long. When something doesn't make sense, it's best to start by asking questions! Much of your difficulty understanding is coming from your bias. Perhaps discussing a "real life scenario" might help?

I'm referring to the scenario when you superglue your finger to the bottle, there is no pencil in this example.

Part of your difficulty understanding is coming from overcomplication, which is only distracting you. Just consider the pencil (or the finger, if you insist) - nothing else. And try to answer the question i asked about it. That should help you!

In the example when you superglue your finger to the bottle, there is no pushing taking place.

Of course there is, you just call it pull ;) Start with the pencil/finger.