Aw, man …Rockstar Assange was having a three way with two nord broads when one of the women said, “hey you should probably put on a condom” and he was like “no thanks mate, don’t use them.” And then he proceeded to bang. What a cool dude. Total boomer coomer hero and role model.

If he just would’ve been a little bit more autistic, or maybe even religious— to the point where he was found unfuckable by groupies—we’d be in a utopian peace fest.