I searched my health insurance company’s database and found only one therapist within a 50-mile radius of my zip code who was registered in this specialty.

I was female-to-male transgender and ready to begin the medicalisation process, but in order to do so, I would need letters of recommendation from a therapist with a master’s degree, ideally someone who specialised in working with transgender people.

“Well,” I began, “I’m really just looking for someone who specializes in working with trans people, and you were the only therapist who popped up in my insurance database.”

Then they didn't get the answer they wanted

“So,” I said, finding my tongue again. “Just to clarify, I’m hoping to get the ball rolling on this medicalisation process. Would you be willing to write me those letters at some point?”

They got...

“I’m not going to help you hurt yourself,” he said jokingly. But it wasn’t a joke. He was completely serious.

So they doctor shopped.

After calling half a dozen therapists, I finally got ahold of one who practiced in a nearby city. On his website, he listed his specialties, one of which was working with LGBTQ+ people, specifically transgender people. But I wasn’t about to take that at face value this time.

And, they found one just like the Tavistock Institute that was shut down. Only one acceptable treatment.

After passing my quiz, he informed me that he was gay. I started to relax and confessed to him that I had been tricked into going to conversion therapy. He listened patiently while I recounted my experience, and when I was done venting, he expressed his sincerest sympathies. But then he confirmed the worst of my fears, telling me that he gets calls from transphobic parents all the time asking if he can “fix” their kids in therapy. When he tries to explain to these parents that being transgender is not something that can be “fixed,” they usually hang up on him and look elsewhere.

And they call not getting their way conversion therapy.