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7
God likes wine!
posted 3 years ago by King_of_Crazy 3 years ago by King_of_Crazy +8 / -1

Judges 9:12-13.

Then the trees said to the vine, "You come and reign over us."

But the vine said to them, "Should I cease my new wine, which cheers BOTH God and men, and go to sway over trees?"

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– DZP1 3 points 3 years ago +3 / -0

Now see here Hunter Bacchus, you're not going to get us drunk and then have your way with us.

-- signed, your 14 year old niece

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– King_of_Crazy [S] 1 point 3 years ago +1 / -0

😂

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– King_of_Crazy [S] 1 point 3 years ago +1 / -0

Since wine cheers God, then God drinks wine, and spirits don't drink spirits....then that makes God a...human.

Yep...went there.

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– deleted 1 point 3 years ago +1 / -0
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– King_of_Crazy [S] 1 point 3 years ago +1 / -0

Yes I did.

Crack is wack, cause Whitney said so!

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– Mad_King_Kalak 1 point 3 years ago +1 / -0

Of course God likes wine. Jesus' first public miracle was the wedding at Cana. His mother, Mary, came to him and said "they are out of wine". He response, without looking it up, was something like "so what woman, it's not my time yet". She ignored that, and told the servants to do what he says. Jesus relented, then made them fill up jars with water, which he turned to wine so that people at a wedding could continue to have a good party going.

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– IGOexiled 1 point 3 years ago +1 / -0

He used Kool Aid powder to make it look miraculous.

If I remember, they filled pots that normally held embalming fluid with water and everyone got wasted. They were dissociated off of PCP.

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– Mad_King_Kalak 1 point 3 years ago +1 / -0

"If I remember..."

It would have been cool to have seen it first hand.

I have thought, that if you were a time traveler, and Jesus spotted you sneaking around, he'd give you shit about it and turn it into a parable about hubris. Somehow you'd end up in the Gospel, which would be changed to reflect your experience, and you'd spot it in the Bible when you got back to your own time. Your copy you carried with you into the past wouldn't have that passage.

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– IGOexiled 2 points 3 years ago +2 / -0

It's weird that more than one of us has thought about Jesus and time travel.

What if you are Jesus and you eventually go back and use modern technology to perform miracles in the past? Walk on water? Clear plexiglass. Wine/Kool-aid, antibiotic ointment for the blind, a defib for Lazarus...

Or if not literally become Jesus, at least go tell Mary you're an angel and bang her. artificially inseminate via syringe.

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– Mad_King_Kalak 1 point 3 years ago +1 / -0

Two thoughts. Some people are convinced that Jesus was just a time traveler, or an alien, with super advanced tech. Walk on water? I got a gravity belt, check. Heal people? I got a Star Trek level medical thingie, check. The aliens or time travelers will come back and set things in order for us.

Secondly, it's funny that you're talking about artificial insemination. According to Thomas Aquinas, angels can't bang chicks and inseminate them, as beings of pure energy. So he hypothesized that a succubus would save the results of the union and become incubus and, well, you can guess the result for the woman. But in the 1200s, who'd have thought you could create life in a petri dish either?

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