If you ever find yourself in a situation where a group of people has deemed it appropriate to shoot a manure cannon at you, I suggest you should reconsider where you're at in life and examine the choices you've made. Also, think deeply about the eternal philosophical question, "Am I the asshole?"

I've made mistakes in my life, no doubt, but I simply have no power to imagine the situation where anyone--let alone a group of my countrymen--would want to do that to me. Unless it was a joke, in which case you've got to appreciate the effort.