Tobacco, Alcohol, Cannabis, Aphetamine, Cocaine, Ketamine, MDMA (Pills and Crystals), Psylocibine, LSD, Hawaiian Baby Woodrose Seeds. There, my entire substance (ab)use history. Make of that what you will. I am not anti-drug. Good for you if DMT helps you. But i've had my fair share of substance-related (mis)adventures and nightmares. I've had my experiences. I've done my dues. And i've been happily abstinent for 3 years now and would rather keep it that way. I do not need substances in my life anymore. I have come to a point in my life where i would rather face the music, where i would rather face reality head on, sober. My synapses have been burned. I've had horror and nightmare and bad trips. It was so bad that i thought for the longest time that i had died during any one of my harder substance trips and that i was either reliving everything up to the moment that i died or that i was already dead and experiencing a limbo or afterlife. I refuse. I refuse.
It has done so and will continue to do so. I know about the supposed power of certain psychoactive and psychedelic substances. And i know that each person makes their own experiences with these. Not all of my experiences were unpleasant and alot of MY unpleasant experiences could have been avoided. Piece of advice for anyone reading this and wanting to do specifically LSD: Do not do it alone. Do not do it in a chaotic, single-room apartment when you are alone (I legit tripped that a pile of laundry was my rotting body and that !i! was a female investigator/detective picking through "my" apartment. I had tripped two death scenarios - I jumped through the glass of one of my windows (2nd floor, roundabout...4, 5? meters in height; And in reality it's physically impossible to propell yourself through the panes of my windows without outside forces. The other scenario that i tripped was that i spilled water over my PC and was electrocuted.) Do not do it on New Years Eve while at a psytrance/darkpsy/"goa" event, ESPECIALLY not an indoor one. And ESPECIALLY do not leave said event alone, eventhough you came with friends, while absolutely peaked out on LSD, at night, in a dark, fireworks-fogged city while you wear a windbreaker instead of a winter-proof jacket.
I envy anyone who has tripped on psychs and HASN'T had a rewind situation where they relive the same in-trip-universe moment again and again. I've tripped on psy anywhere between 6 to 10 times and half of those trips were just me being alone in my tiny apartment and tripping that i was dead. Have you ever tripped that you feel your body shatter from the impact of a 5-meter fall? Have you tripped that your skull parts and your eyes come out of it? Have you tripped insects crawling on and through your decomposing body while you trip that you lying down on your bed covered with your blankets is your coffin, burried within the soil.
Again, i am not anti-drug. And i AM glad that i made my experiences, that i at least DID it. Just like i tried adult toys once. Tangent but it's underwhelming. It's probably more fun for women and i know that the behind is a erogenous zone but just meh. I don't see the appeal. I'd rather stick it in a pouch if you catch my drift.
Anyways, cheers buddy. I wish all the best to you and yours.
Tobacco, Alcohol, Cannabis, Aphetamine, Cocaine, Ketamine, MDMA (Pills and Crystals), Psylocibine, LSD, Hawaiian Baby Woodrose Seeds. There, my entire substance (ab)use history. Make of that what you will. I am not anti-drug. Good for you if DMT helps you. But i've had my fair share of substance-related (mis)adventures and nightmares. I've had my experiences. I've done my dues. And i've been happily abstinent for 3 years now and would rather keep it that way. I do not need substances in my life anymore. I have come to a point in my life where i would rather face the music, where i would rather face reality head on, sober. My synapses have been burned. I've had horror and nightmare and bad trips. It was so bad that i thought for the longest time that i had died during any one of my harder substance trips and that i was either reliving everything up to the moment that i died or that i was already dead and experiencing a limbo or afterlife. I refuse. I refuse.
Wow that sounds awful. I hope sobriety brings you solace.
It has done so and will continue to do so. I know about the supposed power of certain psychoactive and psychedelic substances. And i know that each person makes their own experiences with these. Not all of my experiences were unpleasant and alot of MY unpleasant experiences could have been avoided. Piece of advice for anyone reading this and wanting to do specifically LSD: Do not do it alone. Do not do it in a chaotic, single-room apartment when you are alone (I legit tripped that a pile of laundry was my rotting body and that !i! was a female investigator/detective picking through "my" apartment. I had tripped two death scenarios - I jumped through the glass of one of my windows (2nd floor, roundabout...4, 5? meters in height; And in reality it's physically impossible to propell yourself through the panes of my windows without outside forces. The other scenario that i tripped was that i spilled water over my PC and was electrocuted.) Do not do it on New Years Eve while at a psytrance/darkpsy/"goa" event, ESPECIALLY not an indoor one. And ESPECIALLY do not leave said event alone, eventhough you came with friends, while absolutely peaked out on LSD, at night, in a dark, fireworks-fogged city while you wear a windbreaker instead of a winter-proof jacket.
I envy anyone who has tripped on psychs and HASN'T had a rewind situation where they relive the same in-trip-universe moment again and again. I've tripped on psy anywhere between 6 to 10 times and half of those trips were just me being alone in my tiny apartment and tripping that i was dead. Have you ever tripped that you feel your body shatter from the impact of a 5-meter fall? Have you tripped that your skull parts and your eyes come out of it? Have you tripped insects crawling on and through your decomposing body while you trip that you lying down on your bed covered with your blankets is your coffin, burried within the soil.
Again, i am not anti-drug. And i AM glad that i made my experiences, that i at least DID it. Just like i tried adult toys once. Tangent but it's underwhelming. It's probably more fun for women and i know that the behind is a erogenous zone but just meh. I don't see the appeal. I'd rather stick it in a pouch if you catch my drift.
Anyways, cheers buddy. I wish all the best to you and yours.
Literally TL;DR
That's fine, it helps me to type out these memories. The TL;DR: I did psychedelics mostly alone and had a mostly bad time. More news at 11.