I quit smoking 5 months ago. I feel like shit. Worse after giving up then when I smoked.
I quit by free will. I chain smoked daily for 15 years a pack of tobacco every couple days or 40 cigs a day, or sometimes an ounce of weed a week, by exercising. 3 hours a day of exercise. x2 30km indoor bike rides and an hour of workout various routines. Now pain. Chest tonsils and lower back. Stress. So much anger and rage.
I smoked most of my life. But wanted to change and get fit again. However I feel worse now. More is just anger at the World right now and being powerless. The ominous feeling this doesn't end well. Knowing in clarity it won't. Much more stress from quitting. Can smell it like a bloodhound. It smells like you could eat it. Still a battle despite no desire too. I have kicked it for real. I think after having quit it might kill me sooner. These people who quit die sooner always cancers but not always the person who never stopped. They just died later or not.
I love it when I was younger rebel. Also all the weed. Loved being constantly stoned. No regrets.
Except there is this judgment now towards smokers. I hate that more. This society today and its dystopia and blame. It makes me so angry.
No freedom today. No fun. Everything is shallow costing so much more. Too many rules. No rule breakers. The secular narrative bleeds you dry. Until the only innovation is skin deep. Another pointless clone. Another gimmick. A stupid upgrade enslaving.
I hope they wake up. There is no future.
Every year has been more rules more assholes more hypocrites more do gooders.
Now we are at a point. Where it breaks. I want to smash it. I take comfort in knowing it smashes.
I quit smoking 5 months ago. I feel like shit. Worse after giving up then when I smoked.
I quit by free will. I chain smoked daily for 15 years a pack of tobacco every couple days or 40 cigs a day, or sometimes an ounce of weed a week, by exercising. 3 hours a day of exercise. x2 30km indoor bike rides and an hour of workout various routines. Now pain. Chest tonsils and lower back. Stress. So much anger and rage.
Prior didn't care much as a smoker.
I smoked most of my life. But wanted to change and get fit again. However I feel worse now. More is just anger at the World right now and being powerless. The ominous feeling this doesn't end well. Knowing in clarity it won't. Much more stress from quitting. Can smell it like a bloodhound. It smells like you could eat it. Still a battle despite no desire too. I have kicked it for real. I think after having quit it might kill me sooner. These people who quit die sooner always cancers but not always the person who never stopped. They just died later or not.
I love it when I was younger rebel. Also all the weed. Loved being constantly stoned. No regrets.
Except there is this judgment now towards smokers. I hate that more. This society today and its dystopia and blame. It makes me so angry.
No freedom today. No fun. Everything is shallow costing so much more. Too many rules. No rule breakers. The secular narrative bleeds you dry. Until the only innovation is skin deep. Another pointless clone. Another gimmick. A stupid upgrade enslaving.
I hope they wake up. There is no future.
Every year has been more rules more assholes more hypocrites more do gooders.
Now we are at a point. Where it breaks. I want to smash it. I take comfort in knowing it smashes.