And when you think of the eventuality of our species, what do you envision....there in our future? ...in the blank, the black...the darkness- over years and decades and centuries?

Bear with me here. What I have to say is quite abstract, I know...I'm sorry if it doesn't make much sense. "Abstract" is who I fucking am since the brain injury- and I embrace it. Blow me, if it triggers you.

Sometimes I lay in bed as I try to sleep- and I imagine the material world that will exist in a century or so. I think of how our Civilization will change beyond our lifetimes. I think of times long past and storms weathered many millennia ago- the priceless blood, precious sweat and the painful tears of our ancestors...who gave their all for us. Great Pyramids and Tiahuanico and Baalbek- physical structures, ideological places and experienced eras that we'll never understand. I try to envision where the West will go, in all her technological and ideological beauty. The places she may have gone before, but doesn't remember- I see the light and darkness collide. As they have for ten thousand years. And ten thousand more.

Matter and Antimatter. Concepts that transcend our understanding of the physical universe. And I believe with all of my heart that She is the last and Greatest hope of Mankind. That comprehension- when I find it, and when I see it- it humbles me. It inspires an insignificance complex. My appreciation for Western Civilization. It's hard to understand our species' potential, or to wrap my mind around where we began. The whole of it makes me contemplate my own insignificance as a fiber in the thread that constitutes our self-aware fabric, woven eternal (against all odds) in a dark and hostile universe. It pits my own self-awareness against all of eternity. And in the end it forces me to understand that I shouldn't.

I could wax poetic and non-impressionistic about the war between Chaos and Symmetry, Order and Entropy...but I digress. It's all just too deep- and what I can wrap my mind around is too hard to express within the confines of written language. Consider it a bridge too far. I believe that we mere humans have a purpose- that our consciousness and perception is a quantifiable weight on the scale of all that exists. That every life and breath has an influence on what becomes.

Whatever happens to our species, we are the catalyst. The tip of a molecularly sharp spear. We're the only reason that it happens- or maybe the only reason that it doesn't happen.

It's all on us- the weight of an entire world, with The West being its' beautiful fulcrum.

I think we're more than capable...I believe in us.

Be strong.