Yeah, this one didn't go through either; I appreciate your making the attempt though! I don't know the exact score limits, but keep making good contributions and you'll clear them in no time.
Your title is "Video Entitled: Spotting the Manipulator's Playbook. Manipulators that use tactics like those described in the video can manifest in all kinds of areas of life. Knowing how to deal with manipulators may save your sanity and keep you from being their prey." The transcript is:
0:00
Have you ever had that unsettling
0:01
realization that someone you trusted was
0:04
actually monitoring your every word,
0:06
collecting information to use against
0:08
you later? Or perhaps you've caught
0:11
someone telling a small lie only to
0:13
extract your honest opinion on something
0:15
important to them. Trust me, I'm not a
0:19
paranoid person. In fact, I used to be
0:21
incredibly trusting, at times naive,
0:24
about the lengths people will go to
0:26
advance their agenda at my expense.
0:29
There are certainly degrees of these
0:31
behaviors. Some people are clever,
0:33
cunning, and even shrewd in how they
0:36
navigate complex social and professional
0:38
environments. But when does effective
0:41
maneuvering cross that invisible line
0:43
into
0:44
manipulation? And more importantly, how
0:47
can you protect yourself without
0:49
becoming cynical and closed off to
0:51
genuine connection? I believe that all
0:54
interactions involve transfers of energy
0:56
and energy always seeks balance. Master
0:59
manipulators essentially function as
1:01
energy vampires extracting more energy
1:04
than they contribute. They create
1:06
imbalanced exchanges where you're
1:09
constantly depleted while they're
1:11
energized by gaining power, control, or
1:13
resources. You have to learn to protect
1:15
your energy. Today, I'm going to share
1:17
insights on how to spot these master
1:20
manipulators, understand their tactics,
1:23
and develop strategies to protect
1:25
yourself while maintaining your
1:27
integrity. Whether you're dealing with
1:29
these individuals in your personal life
1:31
or professional settings, by the end of
1:34
this video, you'll have clear signs to
1:36
watch for and practical tools to manage
1:39
these challenging relationships. Hi, I'm
1:41
Jenny Clark, a conscious leadership
1:43
expert who spent two decades in
1:45
executive recruiting and talent
1:46
management. Having worked with giants
1:48
like Google and Spencer Stewart, I
1:50
discovered that the secret to
1:51
transformative leadership lies in the
1:53
five dimensions of conscious leadership.
1:56
And I'm here to help you unlock your
1:57
full potential. Join me on this channel
1:59
as we embark on an honest and vulnerable
2:01
journey together to become the kind of
2:03
leader that genuinely inspires
2:05
transformation in your organization.
2:08
I've got a little career boosting secret
2:10
for you. Do you want the inside scoop on
2:12
leadership, plus some juicy tips and hot
2:14
takes that you won't hear anywhere else?
2:16
I've got a newsletter that's basically
2:18
your personal career coach in your
2:20
inbox. Just click the link in the
2:23
description to join in. Oh, and if
2:25
you're loving this content, I know you
2:27
are. Check that subscribe button. It's
2:30
like giving me a virtual fist bump,
2:33
ensuring you won't miss out on any
2:35
future videos. I remember working with a
2:37
colleague who always seemed supportive
2:39
in our one-on-one conversations. She'd
2:42
ask thoughtful questions about my
2:43
projects, offer to help, and even defend
2:46
my ideas in team meetings. I considered
2:49
her an ally in a competitive workplace.
2:52
Then came the performance review season.
2:54
As I sat across from my manager, I was
2:56
shocked to hear concerns about my work
2:59
that seemed oddly specific. concerns
3:02
that mirrored exact conversations I'd
3:04
had privately with my supportive
3:06
colleague. Information I'd shared
3:09
incompetence about challenges I was
3:11
facing had been carefully curated and
3:14
presented out of context, making me
3:17
appear incompetent rather than proactive
3:20
about addressing problems. This wasn't
3:22
simple workplace competition. It was
3:25
calculated betrayal disguised as a
3:27
friendship. The worst part, when
3:30
confronted, she expertly reframed
3:33
everything. Oh, I was just concerned
3:35
about the project timelines. I thought I
3:37
was helping by bringing attention to the
3:39
issues. Her ability to twist reality
3:42
left me questioning my own perception of
3:44
events. That experience taught me that
3:48
manipulation isn't always obvious. The
3:51
most skilled manipulators wrap their
3:53
tactics in the appearance of care,
3:55
concerned, or even helpfulness.
3:59
A few lessons. Here's how we identify
4:01
those master manipulators and protect
4:03
ourselves from these tactics. Let's
4:06
break it down into three essential
4:07
areas. Recognize the signs. First, let's
Recognize the Signs
4:10
talk about the warning signs that
4:12
someone may be manipulating rather than
4:14
simply being strategic or clever.
4:16
Information collection. Manipulators are
4:19
constantly gathering information. They
4:21
ask probing questions that seem friendly
4:24
but serve their purpose of building an
4:26
arsenal against
4:28
you. Notice if someone seems unusually
4:31
interested in your vulnerabilities or
4:33
mistakes, especially if they have no
4:36
direct need to know.
4:38
Inconsistency. Pay attention to people
4:40
whose behavior changes drastically
4:42
depending on who's in the room. The
4:45
colleague who praises you in private but
4:47
undermines you in meetings isn't just
4:50
politically savvy. They're playing a
4:52
dangerous game. Emotional
4:54
reactions. Master manipulators often use
4:57
emotional responses to deflect
4:59
accountability. If you confront them
5:01
about a behavior and suddenly find
5:03
yourself comforting them instead of
5:05
addressing the issue, you've likely
5:08
encountered what psychologists call
5:10
Darvo.
5:12
deny, attack, reverse victim, and
5:17
offender. Testing boundaries. They'll
5:20
often start with a small boundary
5:22
violation to see what you'll tolerate.
5:24
Maybe they forget commitments, share
5:27
something you told them in confidence,
5:29
or take credit for a small contribution
5:31
you made. How you respond to these tests
5:34
determines how far they'll go. According
5:37
to research from the University of
5:39
Georgia, manipulative individuals
5:41
typically display a pattern of behaviors
5:43
rather than isolated incidents. It's the
5:47
consistency and intentionality behind
5:49
their actions that reveals their true
5:51
nature. Understanding their tactics. Now
Understanding Their Tactics
5:55
that we can recognize potential
5:56
manipulators, let's examine their
5:58
playbook.
6:00
Triangulation. This is when a
6:01
manipulator brings in a third party to
6:03
strengthen their position against you.
6:05
They might say things like, "Everyone in
6:07
the department feels this way." Or,
6:09
"Sarah mentioned she was concerned about
6:12
your approach, too." This isolates you
6:15
and makes you question your perception.
6:18
Gaslighting. This insidious tactic
6:20
involves making you question your own
6:23
reality. That's not what I said. You're
6:25
too sensitive or that never happened are
6:29
classic gaslighting phrases that erode
6:31
your confidence in your own perceptions.
6:34
Strategic
6:35
vulnerability. Some manipulators share
6:38
calculated personal information to make
6:40
you feel obligated to
6:42
reciprocate. But unlike genuine
6:45
vulnerability, theirs is carefully
6:47
curated to seem deep while actually
6:50
revealing little. The favor trap.
6:54
They'll offer help to do favors you
6:56
didn't ask for, creating a sense of
6:58
indebtedness that they can call upon
7:01
later. Remember, genuine help doesn't
7:04
come with invisible strings attached.
7:06
Social leverage. They build alliances
7:09
and create narratives about others,
7:11
positioning themselves as the helpful
7:13
source of insight or information. And
7:16
this gives them social capital that they
7:19
can spend to influence perceptions if
7:21
conflicts arise. A study published in
7:23
the journal of personality and social
7:25
psychology found that individuals who
7:28
score high on measures of
7:30
mchavellianism, a personality trait
7:32
characterized by manipulation and
7:34
exploitation of others are particularly
7:37
skilled at using these tactics while
7:39
maintaining a facade of
7:40
trustworthiness. Developing protection
Developing Protection Strategies
7:43
strategies. Finally, let's discuss how
7:46
to protect yourself without becoming
7:48
paranoid or manipulative yourself. Trust
7:51
your
7:52
instincts. What uneasy feeling do you
7:55
get around certain people? Don't dismiss
7:58
it. Our intuition often picks up on
8:00
subtle inconsistencies before our
8:02
conscious mind can articulate what's
8:04
wrong. Document patterns. Keep track of
8:07
inconsistencies, promises made versus
8:10
kept, and situations where you felt
8:12
manipulated. This creates an objective
8:15
record that you can refer to when
8:16
self-doubt creeps in. Set firm
8:19
boundaries. Be clear about what
8:22
information you share, with whom, and
8:24
under what circumstances. Remember, not
8:27
everyone deserves the same level of
8:28
access to your thoughts, feelings, and
8:30
personal information. Build a trust
8:33
network. Cultivate relationships with
8:35
people who've demonstrated integrity
8:37
over time. These relationships provide
8:40
both emotional support and reality
8:43
checks when you need them. Control the
8:45
narrative. When dealing with known
8:47
manipulators, consider what information
8:49
you share more strategically. This isn't
8:52
about becoming manipulative yourself,
8:54
but rather protecting your interests in
8:56
environments where others don't play
8:58
fair. Direct communication. When
9:01
possible, address issues directly.
9:04
Phrases like, "I noticed that." Or,
9:07
"When you said X in the meeting, it
9:09
contradicted what we discussed
9:10
privately," can be powerful ways to
9:13
signal that you're aware of the
9:15
manipulation without escalating to
9:17
accusation. According to organizational
9:19
psychologist Adam Grant, the most
9:22
effective defense against manipulators
9:24
is a combination of boundary setting and
9:26
what he calls generous tit fortat.
9:30
giving people the benefit of the doubt
9:31
initially but responding protectively
9:33
when they demonstrate
9:35
untrustworthiness. So what can we take
9:37
away from this? Manipulation is real,
9:41
but it doesn't mean you need to approach
9:43
every relationship with suspicion.
9:45
Instead, focus on building your
9:47
awareness and response toolkit. When
9:50
something feels off, pause and question
9:52
what's really happening before
9:54
responding. Your boundaries reveal
9:56
people's true intentions. Those who
9:59
respect them are trustworthy. If someone
10:02
makes you doubt your reality, seek
10:04
perspective from someone you trust. And
10:07
remember to walk away from relationships
10:09
that diminish you. As Maya Angelou said,
10:13
"When someone shows you who they are,
10:16
believe them the first time." Remember,
10:19
the goal isn't to become cynical or
10:21
manipulative yourself. It's to develop
10:23
the discernment that allows you to
10:24
engage authentically with those who
10:27
deserve your trust while protecting
10:30
yourself from those who would exploit
10:32
it. I get it. Taking that first step can
10:36
feel daunting. I've been there, too. But
10:39
here's the thing. You've got strengths
10:41
you might not even realize yet. I've put
10:43
together a free career mapping framework
10:46
to help you uncover those hidden talents
10:48
and chart your own path forward. It's
10:50
not about changing everything overnight.
10:53
It's about starting to see your
10:54
potential clearly. Ready to explore the
10:59
frameworks waiting for you. Just click
11:00
the link in the description. Your future
11:03
self will thank you for taking this
11:05
small but powerful step today.
11:08
[Music]
Yeah, this one didn't go through either; I appreciate your making the attempt though! I don't know the exact score limits, but keep making good contributions and you'll clear them in no time.
Your title is "Video Entitled: Spotting the Manipulator's Playbook. Manipulators that use tactics like those described in the video can manifest in all kinds of areas of life. Knowing how to deal with manipulators may save your sanity and keep you from being their prey." The transcript is:
0:00 Have you ever had that unsettling 0:01 realization that someone you trusted was 0:04 actually monitoring your every word, 0:06 collecting information to use against 0:08 you later? Or perhaps you've caught 0:11 someone telling a small lie only to 0:13 extract your honest opinion on something 0:15 important to them. Trust me, I'm not a 0:19 paranoid person. In fact, I used to be 0:21 incredibly trusting, at times naive, 0:24 about the lengths people will go to 0:26 advance their agenda at my expense. 0:29 There are certainly degrees of these 0:31 behaviors. Some people are clever, 0:33 cunning, and even shrewd in how they 0:36 navigate complex social and professional 0:38 environments. But when does effective 0:41 maneuvering cross that invisible line 0:43 into 0:44 manipulation? And more importantly, how 0:47 can you protect yourself without 0:49 becoming cynical and closed off to 0:51 genuine connection? I believe that all 0:54 interactions involve transfers of energy 0:56 and energy always seeks balance. Master 0:59 manipulators essentially function as 1:01 energy vampires extracting more energy 1:04 than they contribute. They create 1:06 imbalanced exchanges where you're 1:09 constantly depleted while they're 1:11 energized by gaining power, control, or 1:13 resources. You have to learn to protect 1:15 your energy. Today, I'm going to share 1:17 insights on how to spot these master 1:20 manipulators, understand their tactics, 1:23 and develop strategies to protect 1:25 yourself while maintaining your 1:27 integrity. Whether you're dealing with 1:29 these individuals in your personal life 1:31 or professional settings, by the end of 1:34 this video, you'll have clear signs to 1:36 watch for and practical tools to manage 1:39 these challenging relationships. Hi, I'm 1:41 Jenny Clark, a conscious leadership 1:43 expert who spent two decades in 1:45 executive recruiting and talent 1:46 management. Having worked with giants 1:48 like Google and Spencer Stewart, I 1:50 discovered that the secret to 1:51 transformative leadership lies in the 1:53 five dimensions of conscious leadership. 1:56 And I'm here to help you unlock your 1:57 full potential. Join me on this channel 1:59 as we embark on an honest and vulnerable 2:01 journey together to become the kind of 2:03 leader that genuinely inspires 2:05 transformation in your organization. 2:08 I've got a little career boosting secret 2:10 for you. Do you want the inside scoop on 2:12 leadership, plus some juicy tips and hot 2:14 takes that you won't hear anywhere else? 2:16 I've got a newsletter that's basically 2:18 your personal career coach in your 2:20 inbox. Just click the link in the 2:23 description to join in. Oh, and if 2:25 you're loving this content, I know you 2:27 are. Check that subscribe button. It's 2:30 like giving me a virtual fist bump, 2:33 ensuring you won't miss out on any 2:35 future videos. I remember working with a 2:37 colleague who always seemed supportive 2:39 in our one-on-one conversations. She'd 2:42 ask thoughtful questions about my 2:43 projects, offer to help, and even defend 2:46 my ideas in team meetings. I considered 2:49 her an ally in a competitive workplace. 2:52 Then came the performance review season. 2:54 As I sat across from my manager, I was 2:56 shocked to hear concerns about my work 2:59 that seemed oddly specific. concerns 3:02 that mirrored exact conversations I'd 3:04 had privately with my supportive 3:06 colleague. Information I'd shared 3:09 incompetence about challenges I was 3:11 facing had been carefully curated and 3:14 presented out of context, making me 3:17 appear incompetent rather than proactive 3:20 about addressing problems. This wasn't 3:22 simple workplace competition. It was 3:25 calculated betrayal disguised as a 3:27 friendship. The worst part, when 3:30 confronted, she expertly reframed 3:33 everything. Oh, I was just concerned 3:35 about the project timelines. I thought I 3:37 was helping by bringing attention to the 3:39 issues. Her ability to twist reality 3:42 left me questioning my own perception of 3:44 events. That experience taught me that 3:48 manipulation isn't always obvious. The 3:51 most skilled manipulators wrap their 3:53 tactics in the appearance of care, 3:55 concerned, or even helpfulness. 3:59 A few lessons. Here's how we identify 4:01 those master manipulators and protect 4:03 ourselves from these tactics. Let's 4:06 break it down into three essential 4:07 areas. Recognize the signs. First, let's Recognize the Signs 4:10 talk about the warning signs that 4:12 someone may be manipulating rather than 4:14 simply being strategic or clever. 4:16 Information collection. Manipulators are 4:19 constantly gathering information. They 4:21 ask probing questions that seem friendly 4:24 but serve their purpose of building an 4:26 arsenal against 4:28 you. Notice if someone seems unusually 4:31 interested in your vulnerabilities or 4:33 mistakes, especially if they have no 4:36 direct need to know. 4:38 Inconsistency. Pay attention to people 4:40 whose behavior changes drastically 4:42 depending on who's in the room. The 4:45 colleague who praises you in private but 4:47 undermines you in meetings isn't just 4:50 politically savvy. They're playing a 4:52 dangerous game. Emotional 4:54 reactions. Master manipulators often use 4:57 emotional responses to deflect 4:59 accountability. If you confront them 5:01 about a behavior and suddenly find 5:03 yourself comforting them instead of 5:05 addressing the issue, you've likely 5:08 encountered what psychologists call 5:10 Darvo. 5:12 deny, attack, reverse victim, and 5:17 offender. Testing boundaries. They'll 5:20 often start with a small boundary 5:22 violation to see what you'll tolerate. 5:24 Maybe they forget commitments, share 5:27 something you told them in confidence, 5:29 or take credit for a small contribution 5:31 you made. How you respond to these tests 5:34 determines how far they'll go. According 5:37 to research from the University of 5:39 Georgia, manipulative individuals 5:41 typically display a pattern of behaviors 5:43 rather than isolated incidents. It's the 5:47 consistency and intentionality behind 5:49 their actions that reveals their true 5:51 nature. Understanding their tactics. Now Understanding Their Tactics 5:55 that we can recognize potential 5:56 manipulators, let's examine their 5:58 playbook. 6:00 Triangulation. This is when a 6:01 manipulator brings in a third party to 6:03 strengthen their position against you. 6:05 They might say things like, "Everyone in 6:07 the department feels this way." Or, 6:09 "Sarah mentioned she was concerned about 6:12 your approach, too." This isolates you 6:15 and makes you question your perception. 6:18 Gaslighting. This insidious tactic 6:20 involves making you question your own 6:23 reality. That's not what I said. You're 6:25 too sensitive or that never happened are 6:29 classic gaslighting phrases that erode 6:31 your confidence in your own perceptions. 6:34 Strategic 6:35 vulnerability. Some manipulators share 6:38 calculated personal information to make 6:40 you feel obligated to 6:42 reciprocate. But unlike genuine 6:45 vulnerability, theirs is carefully 6:47 curated to seem deep while actually 6:50 revealing little. The favor trap. 6:54 They'll offer help to do favors you 6:56 didn't ask for, creating a sense of 6:58 indebtedness that they can call upon 7:01 later. Remember, genuine help doesn't 7:04 come with invisible strings attached. 7:06 Social leverage. They build alliances 7:09 and create narratives about others, 7:11 positioning themselves as the helpful 7:13 source of insight or information. And 7:16 this gives them social capital that they 7:19 can spend to influence perceptions if 7:21 conflicts arise. A study published in 7:23 the journal of personality and social 7:25 psychology found that individuals who 7:28 score high on measures of 7:30 mchavellianism, a personality trait 7:32 characterized by manipulation and 7:34 exploitation of others are particularly 7:37 skilled at using these tactics while 7:39 maintaining a facade of 7:40 trustworthiness. Developing protection Developing Protection Strategies 7:43 strategies. Finally, let's discuss how 7:46 to protect yourself without becoming 7:48 paranoid or manipulative yourself. Trust 7:51 your 7:52 instincts. What uneasy feeling do you 7:55 get around certain people? Don't dismiss 7:58 it. Our intuition often picks up on 8:00 subtle inconsistencies before our 8:02 conscious mind can articulate what's 8:04 wrong. Document patterns. Keep track of 8:07 inconsistencies, promises made versus 8:10 kept, and situations where you felt 8:12 manipulated. This creates an objective 8:15 record that you can refer to when 8:16 self-doubt creeps in. Set firm 8:19 boundaries. Be clear about what 8:22 information you share, with whom, and 8:24 under what circumstances. Remember, not 8:27 everyone deserves the same level of 8:28 access to your thoughts, feelings, and 8:30 personal information. Build a trust 8:33 network. Cultivate relationships with 8:35 people who've demonstrated integrity 8:37 over time. These relationships provide 8:40 both emotional support and reality 8:43 checks when you need them. Control the 8:45 narrative. When dealing with known 8:47 manipulators, consider what information 8:49 you share more strategically. This isn't 8:52 about becoming manipulative yourself, 8:54 but rather protecting your interests in 8:56 environments where others don't play 8:58 fair. Direct communication. When 9:01 possible, address issues directly. 9:04 Phrases like, "I noticed that." Or, 9:07 "When you said X in the meeting, it 9:09 contradicted what we discussed 9:10 privately," can be powerful ways to 9:13 signal that you're aware of the 9:15 manipulation without escalating to 9:17 accusation. According to organizational 9:19 psychologist Adam Grant, the most 9:22 effective defense against manipulators 9:24 is a combination of boundary setting and 9:26 what he calls generous tit fortat. 9:30 giving people the benefit of the doubt 9:31 initially but responding protectively 9:33 when they demonstrate 9:35 untrustworthiness. So what can we take 9:37 away from this? Manipulation is real, 9:41 but it doesn't mean you need to approach 9:43 every relationship with suspicion. 9:45 Instead, focus on building your 9:47 awareness and response toolkit. When 9:50 something feels off, pause and question 9:52 what's really happening before 9:54 responding. Your boundaries reveal 9:56 people's true intentions. Those who 9:59 respect them are trustworthy. If someone 10:02 makes you doubt your reality, seek 10:04 perspective from someone you trust. And 10:07 remember to walk away from relationships 10:09 that diminish you. As Maya Angelou said, 10:13 "When someone shows you who they are, 10:16 believe them the first time." Remember, 10:19 the goal isn't to become cynical or 10:21 manipulative yourself. It's to develop 10:23 the discernment that allows you to 10:24 engage authentically with those who 10:27 deserve your trust while protecting 10:30 yourself from those who would exploit 10:32 it. I get it. Taking that first step can 10:36 feel daunting. I've been there, too. But 10:39 here's the thing. You've got strengths 10:41 you might not even realize yet. I've put 10:43 together a free career mapping framework 10:46 to help you uncover those hidden talents 10:48 and chart your own path forward. It's 10:50 not about changing everything overnight. 10:53 It's about starting to see your 10:54 potential clearly. Ready to explore the 10:59 frameworks waiting for you. Just click 11:00 the link in the description. Your future 11:03 self will thank you for taking this 11:05 small but powerful step today. 11:08 [Music]