Sometimes I wish that I had never begun questioning things, sometimes I wish I could go back to being wide-eyed and optimistic about the world, unaware of the realities that have been hidden in the past, present, and future. In my experience, ignorance could well have been bliss, as an awakened life is certainly not a happier life.
The one truth I have not been able to uncover is that of purpose and of meaning. Every goal that I once had, my dream job, aspirations, plans for the future, children etc. have all been whittled away upon realizing that everything we have ever been told is a lie, and is continuously built upon by more lies. Our governments and neighbors have sold us down the river, and society is increasingly foreign (in both the literal and figurative sense), hostile, unwelcoming and expensive. People screw each other over for financial incentives, and all that matters is materialism. Hell even if you try to live a pure life, you cannot escape every one else.
Governmental endorsed mass immigration has destroyed culture, identity, economy, safety and security. Of course, the knee-jerk reaction is to scream 'fight for the west and our values!' - to which I ask, 'what values?' we have become a weak whimper of a society: men who think they are women, drag queens, refugees welcome, gay pride parades, feminist harpies and the grooming of children (to name a few). This madness is our 'western values' - values which we cannot question openly without facing censorship or legal repercussions. We are utterly powerless to do anything about any of this. Add to the fact that Joe normie hasn't got the faintest clue and couldn't give two shits either way so long as they have bread and circuses.
My question to those out there who question authority, delve deeply into narratives, look beyond lies and seek truths and have been at the milestone I am now facing: how do you find contentment these days? How do you go on knowing the absolute state of the world, knowing there is nothing you can do, and nowhere you can run? I am at a point where I see no optimism in the future and question what the point is in continuing in a world so full of deceit, corruption, evil and stupidity.
How did you find meaning and purpose?
Being intelligent brings no one happiness. Even those who claim they are, arent. Maybe they have a really good job and they make alot of money and they think they are happy, but if you have even just a smidgen of awareness and your not a sociopath or pychopath, then I think your going to be miserable. It doesnt even matter if you believe in conspiracy's or not. All we know is the economy is going down hill, everyone hates each other, something just doesnt "feel" right.
I think its important to be aware of why its like this, its not just random chance and deep down most of us who question things know something isnt right.
I would only trust what you see and hear, and even then its hard to trust that. You have to trust in yourself and trust in something higher I guess. I am fucking envious of religious people, but Ive never been the type to rely on imaginary help.
All I can do is try and live my life the way I want to, at least when I die, or end up homeless, I have no one to blame but myself. I dont try to focus on the future to much, its pretty bleak and depressing.
I just try to enjoy life to the best of my ability while I can, which is hard considering ive been suffering for years from low phosphorous which the doctors cant explain.
All you can do really, put one foot in front of the other, try to eat and live healthy, and live for the moment.