Do you have kids? I'm not suggesting you should to try to fix anything. It just sounds like you don't feel like you have a purpose and that's what I really mean by the question. If no kids, then what is your purpose, what is the thing that brings you a modicum of sanity and relief?

If there's nothing - which I understand completely, I've been there - then I don't know what to tell you. You're the only one that can decide if life is worth it or not. I hope you find peace