Everyone's life has different challenges, that's what I always say to people to keep them from dwelling on unfortunate circumstances and events from my own life, because I have dealt with some difficult and unusual things. I'm sorry to hear what you're going through, and can't claim to understand it (because I'm not experiencing it) but you are meant to fight and rise to the challenges you're facing. Killing yourself is the ultimate loss, especially without doing anything of note, don't take that L. At least infiltrate a bilderberg meeting or something if you feel like there's nothing to live for