Too many IRL redditors then - I've had people I know personally say this to me. Maybe I'm the NPC because, like any computer with a logical contradiction, trying to put those two next to each other makes my brain want to explode.

I keep going back to the definition of "cognitive dissonance." I had always thought it was just holding two contradictory ideas at once, but apparently it's the discomfort associated with holding two contradictory ideas at once. So I think some people are actually incapable of that definition - they're perfectly comfortable holding those two incompatible thoughts simultaneously.