I've some pretty nasty things to others over this past month in particular. I relapsed on booze and took it out on you. I'm sorry for that.
Back in 2017 I fell into one of the worst binges in my life and the withdrawal nearly killed me. I vowed to never drink again and I broke that vow a month ago. I just made it through day 1 of withdrawal again.
When I get drunk I feel euphoric which is why it's so tempting for me. The flip side is alcohol withdrawal and in the state of mind I get destructive.
Again, I'm sorry for my words.
Your vow tempts you to define yourself by your weakness, instead try vowing to resist temptations, which will continuously grow your resistance without dangling your weaknesses as temptations in front of you.
Embrace the struggle to resist whatever tempts you to drink...what is it that you're lacking which you try to fill with booze?