Living your life under the guises of "what ifs" is not going to get you anywhere. The grand conspiracy is to get you thinking about the most random craziest shit whilst neglecting yourself and your loved ones. Everyone wants to change the world but no one wants to change themselves. OP, be the change you wish to see in the world. You're a creator, for the Creator(s) created you. Go create.
Living your life under the guises of "what ifs" is not going to get you anywhere. The grand conspiracy is to get you thinking about the most random craziest shit whilst neglecting yourself and your loved ones. Everyone wants to change the world but no one wants to change themselves. OP, be the change you wish to see in the world. You're a creator, for the Creator(s) created you. Go create.