Merry Christmas, fellow conspiratards! On this day that marks the birth of the Savior of the human soul, let us also take a moment to remember that...

...SANTA = SATAN.

1. The letters of "Santa" are just "Satan" rearranged.
2. Santa lives in the extreme cold of the North Pole. Where does Dante say that Lucifer lives?
3. Santa is assisted by a legion of pointy eared minions. Who else has a legion of pointy eared minions?
4. Santa is portrayed as being covered in red. Satan is portrayed as being covered in red.
5. Santa keeps a list and rewards or punishes based on your adherence to his rules, much like a contract. Satan deals with contracts. God deals with forgiveness.
6. Santa falls down through your chimney into the flaming coals of your hearth. Sound familiar?
7. Santa moves in darkness and promises the riches of material rewards. Nothing sketchy about that, right?

God bless, and remember, the greatest trick Santa ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist!