this is related to like three conspiracies, but they dont matter and i already know everything, the outcome is decided.

I think its time to hop states for a variety of reasons including tons of normal ones. there are 100% benefits and almost no negatives other than saying goodbye to my family and leaving behind my nice things I cant take with me (fancy computer and TV i'll give to parents).

this state has been dead to me for years, and upon going through a process of figuring out how/why it will ALWAYS be dead to me and there is NO HOPE of a new life here, along with intensely pissing people off and exposing myself to my enemies in a huge display...

yeah i think its time to go. I told my family how people in a certain group actually are sort of after me to blacklist me and slander me -- they have offered me part of the house sale money to leave here.

it honestly may only be in a small area but i dont know because it seems fairly regional and entire subcultures of people are related to it -- some of which i am interested in who are cut off to me as of now.

it is true that this group will fuck with me. they dont seem to like or want me personally associated anywhere around them but a lot of things about us both tie us together but against each other. I often wont be able to help certain individuals from their group taking notice of me for example, which probably is the entire source of this conflict. because really we are the same its just im not wanted.

I also have pissed them off bad investigating this. everything is outed and exposed on each side. the situation is quiet but tense now. they already know i was investigating if they were responsible for destroying me and that I plan to leave the state to get out of their influence zone.

at this point I just feel like i'll sleep sounder, relax better and feel more comfortable in public ANYWHERE but this state. I feel like I cant be who i am here or even fake being someone else. that if i ever do succeed im in constant fear of others showing up and saying/doing something. etc.

also, ive been planning to move to a big city anyway since i have herpes and more people have it there and i want to move on as soon as I can once im out from under the influence of people who hate me. like no joke i kind of look forward to trying to get a whole roster of girls together while i pick someone to date lmao.

so i think now may be the time to do it. I really dont want to leave behind my new nice TV and expensive computer, but I think starting my new life is more important so I can give these things to family and leave.

I havent planned where to go yet. I dont really have much plan for when i get there other than try to find a job. I have no real "skill or trade" so im going to go with no primary trade -- so if i could get an apprenticeship or something that would be good as long as it pays rent. it may be difficult though and i may have to survive on one minimum wage check if i cannot get apprenticed or something.

any advice on what to do, moving to a new city fast with no family or friends and no skill/trade?

if i end up homeless its not that big of a deal since i think i have to just take the risk.