For anyone who’s been following along, it seems like I’m stuck on blast with these Parkers. Frankly, when I began with them I thought they were all very minor compared to other families, so I wanted to “get them out of the way” first because it would be simple and easy. Honestly, I still think so, which should give you some indication of how much more crazy bullshit has gone on in “history”.

So it struck me yesterday that the handler of Elvis, one of the preeminent entertainers of the modern era, was… a Parker. Colonel Tom Parker, to be precise. It just never occurred to me before because the subject of Elvis had been covered in-depth nearly a decade ago by Miles Mathis, one of the preeminent conspiracy researchers of the modern era:

Elvis Aron Presley: Intelligence Project (Miles Mathis 12/15/2015 32-page PDF)

Yes, he’s disinfo and we’ll get there, but for now, in addition to other claims in this writeup you may not believe, when I went to check it out I was hoping for a dry well. Save myself the effort but keep a clear conscience, you know? Some people named Parker are just people named Parker. Of course I know that! But it’s not what we’re going to find in this case.

I thought I got off easy in the first sentence of his wiki when I saw that Parker was not even his real name. Louisiana Colonel Thomas Andrew Parker was born Dutchman Andreas Cornelis van Kuijk. Done! Except that my eyes drifted briefly down the page and I saw in the sidebar that in 1935, he married Marie Francis Mott. Mentally and emotionally, I felt like I fell off a cliff.

You see, way back when I thought there was almost nothing to the Parkers, I included them in this post as tied in to the Motts and Coffins across time and space:

It’s a (very) Small World 3x3: 3 Elite Families working together in 3 locations (and no one ever noticed) (conspiracies.win 3/31/2024)

Seems a helluva lot longer than seven months ago to me. There has been a lot more about the Parkers since then, like these writeups on the CIA’s Phoenix Program in Vietnam, Jim Jones and Jonestown, and LAPD Chief William Parker and the Black Dahlia. There is a lot more (but look how organized I’m getting!).

So, in a reverso, I believe Thomas Andrew Parker was indeed his real name. (I didn’t see that coming, either.) And here is sort of a deep reference which indicates to me it’s authentic. You ever hear of the King of England? His wife the Queen is (sorry to be crass but I’m trying to make a point) sloppy seconds. Camilla Parker Bowles used to be married to Andrew Parker Bowles. She got her name from him.

Very quickly in that wiki, right at the start of the second paragraph, they name drop the heavy hitters that he is the great-great-grandson of: Thomas Parker, 6th Earl of Macclesfield, and his wife Ann Parker Bowles. Also, well over a century later, the firstborn of Andrew was a son named Thomas Henry Charles Parker Bowles. Lots of duplicate names floating around, huh? We should also take a second to note that the children of the reigning Queen of the United Kingdom and Commonwealth realms are Parkers.

Now, what’s written in wiki is light-duty disinfo, and before we turn to the industrial stuff let’s take a look at something commercial-grade:

Colonel Parker Managed Elvis’ Career, but Was He a Killer on the Lam? The man who brought The King to global fame kept his own past secret. But what exactly was Tom Parker hiding? (Smithsonian Magazine 2/24/2012)

Without even reading it, I’m going to call bullshit. I will simply pose the question to you of what seems more likely: that the Smithsonian Institution traffics in conspiracy theory, or that this is some dirt thrown in the water long after the fact to give Elvis fans and conspiracy theorists a spicy and phony dead end to go down? On my scorecard, the Smithsonian is the conspiracy.

The “fool’s gold” standard for conspiracy theory on this topic was the paper by disinfo agent supreme Miles Mathis, as linked above. I suggest you actually read the section in the middle that discusses Parker. That’s what I did, many years ago. In fact, I lapped it up. I was so impressed at the level of knowledge, the powers of observation, the insight! I aspired—just a hope, really—to become such a researcher myself.

Fast-forward and I realize now just how much of it—true or not—turns out to be disinformation. Did Mathis mention any of the things we’ve looked at? You can keep an eye out as you read further to note if he discussed any of the points we’ll see next.

Basically, he pushes us to think that Parker is a Dutchman, and related to the Philips industrialists. Before we proceed, let me say that indeed there are mid- and low-profile Dutch families that have for centuries been up to a lot of sus activities in America: Roosevelts, Astors, Bushes, Hamiltons, Livingstons, etc. Examine the Schuyler family if you want to get a sense of the connections. General Hoyt S. Vandenberg, of Space Force Base fame, was the first Director of the CIA and set up the Roswell Incident hoax/coverup (a story for another day). My point is, these Dutch should be exposed for what they’ve done. Mathis doesn’t mention any of them, so you see what my real point is.

If you can find any real gold nuggets in anything Miles has to say about Tom Parker, good for you. A disinfo agent must always include some truth, after all. From Mathis we get, “He looks Dutch, doesn’t he?” Also, he spends a lot of time discussing how Parker was a colonel. Contrarily, I don’t think Tom was Dutch at all. I leave it to you to decide if he was or not, but here’s what Tom sounded like:

COLONEL TOM PARKER - Interview on "ABC Nightline" (Aug 15, 1987) (YouTube 7:03 8/15/1987)

No trace of a Dutch accent I can detect. One thing I’ve noticed about non-native speakers is that they never lose their accents completely, but only to a level they find comfortable and stop there for the rest of their lives. “Ahnold” is a good example of this. But for comparison with Col. Tom, here’s a gin-u-wine Southerner:

Pascagoula man recalls the time he was abducted by aliens (YouTube 3:40 2/16/2023)

Did you catch who that was? Calvin Parker. His accent is a bit more harsh because Pascagoula is halfway between Mobile and New Orleans. More Southern than that and the accent becomes Mexican. A month ago, we stomped all over that particular Parker’s claim to fame here:

The Pascagoula Abduction was another psyop by the Parker family of generational Satanists (with a bonus connection to Aleister Crowley) (conspiracies.win 9/25/2024)

If you’re new to the Parkers and were wondering how Satan fit into all this, you can find it there. But in any case, I think Tom was a legit Son of the South. When wiki begins the tale of the Lost Dutchman, it says that he was in the area of Georgia. Okay, yes, it’s just that I think he was actually born there. He floats around, but we finally get something concrete when he joins the Army and goes to basic training at Fort McPherson in Atlanta.

Now bear with me as we take a weird left turn (technically it’s right). If you start at McPherson and head east and a bit north, in about an hour and a half you’ll come to Elbert County, Georgia. If you’ve never heard of it, of course you haven’t. Few people live there and there’s nothing to see. At least not anymore, after the Georgia Guidestones got very mysteriously blowed up real good then erased from the face of the Earth.

Is that location mere happenstance? Well, in all the scrolling I’ve done on r/conspiracy and listening to of endless podcast interviews where occult nerds drone on with 100% certainty about numerology and gematria and ley lines and the like, I never once heard one of them suggest such an explanation for the location of the Guidestones. Or any explanation of any type, actually.

Frankly, I don’t know why they were erected there either if that’s what you were hoping for, but I do know one thing: a certain Chuck Manson-looking character showed there in Elbert County 240 years ago for no given reason. His name? Daniel Parker. Is there something there where there appears to be nothing, that They know about and We do not? Your guess is as good as mine. (Seriously, though, take a look because he does look like Manson. Those famous murders were another hoax put on by the same people, so… just sayin’.)

If you look on a map of Georgia counties (1-page PDF), I would also note here that similarly close to Atlanta but to the southeast are Putnam and Warren counties. Well, Parkers, Putnams, Warrens, and a raft of other families have been tied up together since before the “as seminal as they were phony” Salem Witch Trials (17-page PDF), the psyop that keeps on giving. What I’m saying is that They seem to have been operating out of the area for a long time, and it may not be pure happenstance that Fani Willis is running her 21st Century witch trial out of Atlanta.

Bonus: This is not evidentiary in any way, but I thought you’d like to know about this short clip:

"A Diabolical Genius In Every Way" - Tom Hanks On Colonel Tom Parker (YouTube 6:24 6/17/2022)

Yes, Parker was played in a movie by Tom Hanks (arch Hollyweird PDF file?) and he talks about it with Stephen Colbert (annoying douche and fellow PDF file?). I’d say don’t bother watching it, but at about 2:40 you find out that, in a promotional effort, Elvis was vaccinated for polio backstage of the Ed Sullivan show at that very theater. You cannot make this up. Also, as in the title of the linked clip, just know that technically speaking, “diabolical” means “of the Devil”. You really cannot make this up.

There are more subtle points. Colbert remarks that before he saw the movie, he knew that Tom Parker existed but didn’t really know anything about him, or even what he looked like. That’s the theme with these families we’ve been talking about. They are on-scene to manipulate major events, yet somehow remain outside the spotlight of the public consciousness. There’s real magick, if you ask me, and not the fake-ass Crowley kind.

Before playing a clip from the film, Hanks describes it as, “the moment the cultural zeitgeist of Western society changed forever.” That’s major, right? Yet only now do you realize the true context of it all.

Thanks for reading, and please be kind to your waitresses!