I heard his last moments were spent rolling about in pain like a drunken slug, pulling his barrel torso and swollen blue legs across the linoleum towards the nurse as she smugly refilled another shot. And I swear to god this is true his last words were begging to not be given the shot. The nurse shook her head sadly “it’s too late sweaty. Here’s your big boy booster!”

Swear to god it’s true. If anybody wants to tell the news channels you can tell them I’m a credible witness, honest.