Friends, using any centralized "platform" or "service" is a bad idea. It's the antithesis of the P2P (peer to peer) architecture the internet was designed to deliver.
Please stop using reddit, .win, google, gdrive, cloudflare, free email services, and other platforms and services.
There is an alternative and it is the budding "fediverse." All the fediverse needs to succeed is people to start using it and participate in the projects by testing and giving use reports on what they use. That's how software gets better unless it is funded by mega corporations, and we know where that leads.
At least start! Find an XMPP server, an ActivityPup server (ex: Nextcloud, Mastodon) to use, or pay a nerd to build one for your community.
Decentralized is the only thing that can't be shut down in an internet outage.
End-to-end encryption (which is different from a service that has the word "Encrypted!" on its website) is the only way to keep messages private.
Start learning! If we don't improve out technical knowledge, we will be completely overrun - soon!
ActivityPub*
I agree with you and am on both mastodon/pleroma and matrix.
I'm not sure what needs to be done as far as development is concerned or how to help?
It's easy.
IMO what we need are private servers to keep our data on, that we can selectively drip out what we want to FB and other accounts
Is there something like that built?
I don't know what you're talking about but you seem to be hoping that there is a product or service that fits your needs and that is exactly the opposite of what we need to do so I have nothing to offer you.
We need decentralization.