Hello citizen, you have been designated as mentally ill and unsafe for society, prepare for removal.

Alternative:

Hello citizen, how are you feeling today? You should be sick by now according to the average amount of time it takes to get sick from the virus we sprayed in your mailbox. This means you’re being detained, for your safety and the safety of others!

Alternative:

You’re coming with us. Oh you feel fine? But according to this test you are carrying a disease you didn’t even know about and we know these tests are confirmed in the lab by the experts. No, you don’t need to bring anything!