Good thing they had rollercoasters to expedite their entry and, to also help speed up the process they had the infamous masturbate-you-to-death machines and the magic walls where they forced poor innocent juiceboxes to put a long gun into one hole where it would curl like in Tom & Jerry to point at their face then forced to pull the trigger.

I fell to my knees in a WalMart parking lot reading that page of history.