Wow, that's really grim. Sorry about your situation.
I hope you can still try to read the New Testament, even if it's just from curiosity.
"But Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”" - Matthew 19:26
"‘Ah, Lord God! It is you who have made the heavens and the earth by your great power and by your outstretched arm! Nothing is too hard for you." - Jeremiah 32:17
"“I know that you can do all things, and that no purpose of yours can be thwarted."- Job 42:2
"Is anything too hard for the Lord? At the appointed time I will return to you, about this time next year, and Sarah shall have a son.”" - Genesis 18:14 // This is regarding the surprise of Abraham (99y) and Sarah (90y), when God told them that they will have a son (Isaac).
Wow, that's really grim. Sorry about your situation.
I hope you can still try to read the New Testament, even if it's just from curiosity.