Abuse-trauma-chaos. If you’ve been there you know.
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I was in an abusive relationship. Went to a psychiatrist not knowing any better hoping she could support me through leaving. Instead she prescribed drugs and threatened to commit me if I didn't take them. I didn't know better. Took them. They made me worse (no surprise) and called my mom one night crying with a kitchen knife in my hand. I was calling to say goodbye. I was going to kill my ex and then myself. She wired me enough money to get me and my cat to her house (across the country) and detoxed me from the drugs. The drugs are evil and the peddlers even more so.
So sorry you had to go through that. I actually have a good friend who almost killed herself from some anti-psychotics. Hope you are doing well now.