I was gripped with fear of losing my grandmother. She raised me and was the sweetest person I ever knew. So gentle of heart and mind.
I would wake up with what felt like my heart had stopped when the fear would take over. I realized that I had to scream back at the fear. I had to aggressively challenge my fear and I had to embrace the thought of her eventual passing. Eventually she did pass, while it was sad, I was ready for it and it did not destroy me.
I have friends and colleagues who will often comment on "how I am so confident", but it is not confidence but an absolute rejection of fear that powers my actions.
Now I know that when I am afraid, I have to become the aggressor. I have to hunt it down, in all the crevices it hides and expose it for what it is. Fear will NOT have power over me.
I learned this lesson when I was a teenager.
I was gripped with fear of losing my grandmother. She raised me and was the sweetest person I ever knew. So gentle of heart and mind.
I would wake up with what felt like my heart had stopped when the fear would take over. I realized that I had to scream back at the fear. I had to aggressively challenge my fear and I had to embrace the thought of her eventual passing. Eventually she did pass, while it was sad, I was ready for it and it did not destroy me.
I have friends and colleagues who will often comment on "how I am so confident", but it is not confidence but an absolute rejection of fear that powers my actions. Now I know that when I am afraid, I have to become the aggressor. I have to hunt it down, in all the crevices it hides and expose it for what it is. Fear will NOT have power over me.