C) trump never existed, you’ve been in a coma since 2007 and you’re about to wake up to the inauguration of Ron Paul’s 4th term

Not going to lie, that would be pretty tight.

I almost want to take a 14 day camping trip with a big bag of shrooms and no cellphone.

Highly recommend that either way. Pro tip, though... Make sure it's by a body of water, and the larger the better. Our Spirit Beings have a deep Astral connection to flowing water.